A POEM  / Mommys Little Boy I. Miss YOU (Mother)

My Heart is Heavy


My Mind is Unclear


Searching for answers that only he Bares





Seeking the Answers


Yearning the Truth


Wanting the Peace that is only found in Youth





Lord Touch my Heart and clear


my mind


I need your Answers to get


out of this Bind.....

Close

Missing / Jennifer Dickerson (Remembering Our Angel's )

Dear Payton Know you are missed and loved very much. Your parents show it everyday. I feel blessed to know your story. Love Agnel Zacahary's Mommy Jenn

Close

Needing you close  / Happy 2nd Birthday Son WE Miss YOU! (mother)

Where has the time gone. I cant even grasp the reality that it has been two years since you can into our lifes and will forever changed not just our life but so many others.. It seems like yesterday to me. I can see things so vividly. You family misses you so much sweety! I shed a few tears yesterday but for the most part we CELEBRATED the short life you had here.

I sat and wondered if in Heaven they thru you a party and if the Harmony from the angels singing to you would somehow be heard all over the world? Did you get your balloons. Bubba and Nanna wanted to send them to heaven for you. Did you happen to see all the beautiful flower and gifts you had?

Payton I want you to know that mommy's life will never feel complete and neither will my heart. You hold the key to that spot that will forever be yours in Heaven.

I hope you had a GREAT BIRTHDAY in Heaven wish you could have been here with us but I know in heaven you are healthy and happy and that is all a parent wants for their child. SHINE BRIGHT my son. Your family loves you and misses you dearly.

Close

Helpless / Lisa Mammie (Grandma)

As I sit here wondering how I can, as a mother, help ease the pain that your mom and dad are going through, I find myself at a loss. I know myself how much I miss you as well. Your mom and dad are 2 of the strongest people I will probably ever know. And I know you are the same. I seen how hard and long you tried to overcome the obstacles that kept getting in your way. I know you did that to give your mom and dad and other family members like me, the chance to get to know you and spend some time with you so we could have some memories to hold in our mind and heart as well.

I remember how you would turn red when I would touch or rub your feet. I remember how we played peek-a-boo just to have them come and put you back to sleep. I remember wishing they would hold off just long enough for me to see your eyes look up at me. But I also know they just wanted to keep you comfortable. I remember that beautiful red hair and am reminded that your Aunt Meeka had that same kind of hair. And of course I remember those thunder thighs that you could only have gotten from the Kaiser curse. Your mom knows about that. The thing that I will remember most was after you were gone. I remember thinking how 1 little guy could bring so many people into one room. And how you brought people together who haven't seen or spoke for months or even years. I remember sitting in awe in the back of that room and seeing the line of people who came to see you and pay respect to your mom and dad. I was proud of how your mom and dad handled the volume of people there. I thought it would never come to an end. And it had to be cut short cause of the time. And I remember how helpless I felt the whole time.

I do find comfort every day though knowing you are up there watching over your family here on earth. I know you are up there with Great grandpa Nino and Great great grandma Kaiser and other family members just having a ball and playing cards and I am sure at times wishing you were here with us. But life throws us curves and we have to take them the best way we know how. Some day we will meet again but until then my love for you will never change or never end. And I thank God for making it possible for me to come down and spend what time I could with you. I hurt as a grandma, a mother and a woman who thinks the world of her children and who has also lost.

I love you Payton and miss you bunches

 

Close

Dear Payton  / Happy New Year Baby Boy (MOMMY)
Dear Payton,

As I laid awake last night, yerning to hold you and see you again, I realized I will be spending another year without you. Your 2nd birthday is fast approaching and my heart is breaking. I laid in my bed with your doll in my arms and cried for hours.

Ely is now walking and it breaks my heart to know I never seen you even move your legs. I can remember every second in the hospital with you. It is so vivid that I can remember just how I felt. Each day was a rollercoaster ride. You would be doing good one minuet and the next I couldnt even touch you. I remember holding you in my arms for the first time just to have it be the last. I remember your little lushish lips I would kiss you before I left. I remember that little button noise you got that from your aunt Meeka. You had your daddys big hands and I remember you squeezing my finger just to let me know you were there.

I also remember the day my world came crashing to a hault. The doctors sat daddy and me down and told us there was nothing more they could do for you. They thought that maybe you had another birth defect but this one had to do with your heart. If it was that you would have never survived anyways. Daddy and I new we could no longer let you suffer.We would let you be healed by letting you go to heaven to be with the rest of our family who reside in heaven above.

I Daddy putting your first outfit on you it was your soft pooh and tiger outfit that I sleep with weeks after you were gone. I remember holding you for the very first time. Holding you so carefully as you seemed to be so fragile. I remember holding you so close to me I felt like we were one. I remember daddy putting his arms around you and me and crying cause we knew we would soon let you go.

As we sat as a family you daddy me brother and sister I remember opening those little eyes and looking at us to say your last goodbye. I remember not wanting to let you go and that GOD would grant me a mircle and prove these doctors wrong. But instead I recieved an angel that night that I would forever long for.

Oh sweet angel I miss you with every breath and its times like these I wonder how am I suppose to live like this and feel this way for the rest of my life? Payton honey you will forever be inbeaded in my heart and there will always be a missing link in my life a link where you belong.

I love you my son and my son you will always be. Mommy
Close

Its football season again  / Mammie Nino (Grandma)

The sport that named an infamous child who is now in heaven and an angel Who brought so many people together to remember how short life can be. A sport who brought yet another soul to earth to help ease the pain of a great family in my eyes and name a new member.  I want to take notice of these 2 boys' older brother and sister who have been through so much the past year and a half and take good care of their lil brother Eli and yet never forget the one they lost. Payton.......honey your were blessed with a great family and only wished you could be here tosee that in life. But know you know that as you watch over them daily. I was really lucky to have been able to meet you in the 3 short days I was in SLC with you and those will be memories forever embedded in my mind and heart.       Love you...mammie 

Close

One Year In Heaven  / Mommy Sure Does Miss YOU (MOMMY)
I cant believe how the time has gone. I still remember what it felt like to hold you for the first time. You felt like the back of my hand so soft and warm. Your cute button nose and your perfect little lips. Today i was making the hardest decision of my life, to let you go and sore above the sky. Today was the first time that your siblings would get to see and hold you. Today my heart broke and will never heal. Today I am reliving one of the most wonderful times with you and also the worst time in my life. Today I am reliving that all over again. I just want you to know my angel that you will always be a blessing to us never a loss, you are with us each and everyday I know cause I feel it in my heart. We love you lil mvp someday your family will join you and once again I will feel whole. Close

Happy Birthday angel  / Kathy Leamon (friend of your mommy )
Happy Birthday angel  How wonderful it must be to be entertained by Jesus on your first birthday.  To hear the angels singing your birthday song must have been grand  You are missed here on earth but we know your happy in Heaven, you will never be forgotten by family or their friends. Close

Happy 1st Birthday to Heaven's lil' MVP!  / Estrella ~Lil' Ant's Mama~ (mommy's friend )
Dear Payton,                                                       2/4/08

    I never got to meet you lil' man, but oh how you have touched my life! I hope I will meet you in Heaven someday...until then...you and Ant had better be good boys! FLY HIGH! but stay close to your family! I know you are having the most wonderful birthday party in Heaven...probably a football party!? What a wonderful blessing, the day you were born! Please try and help your mommy and daddy this week, I know they are missing you terribly. I love you Payton and your family, too...thank you for touching my heart...thank you for blessing me with your love...thank you for bringing your mommy to me!...thank you for the peace in knowing Ant has a wonderful friend! Now you go have a fun birthday, big boy! Score a Touchdown! We are all cheering for you here on earth! Wishing for only a moment we could see...never forget how much you are loved and missed. Happy Birthday Lil' MVP! I can't believe your 1!!! SHINE BRIGHT FROM HEAVEN WITH ALL YOUR LOVE!

Lyssa, I love you girl! Sending you lots of prayers! Please tell Wayne he is also in my heart! and all the kiddos too!! I found this prayer last night, and I wanted to share it with you! I really like it!

Now I lay me down to sleep...
I pray the Lord, my tears to keep.
My baby sleep's in Heaven's arms
Peaceful with angelic charm.
Lord, take my tears...but grant me a kiss...
From the Angel baby, I so miss
Close

Happy 1st Heavenly Birthday Sweet boy!!  / Kelly~ Journey's Mommy
Close

Merry Christmas from Heaven  / Kelly~ Journey's Mommy
Merry Christmas from Heaven


I still hear the songs
I still see the lights
I still feel your love
on cold wintery nights

I still share your hopes
and all your cares
Ill even remind you to please
say your prayers

I just want to tell you
you still make me proud
You stand head and shoulders
above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment
to stay in his grace
I came here before you
to help set your place

You dont have to be
perfect all the time
He forgives you the slip
If you continue
to climb

To my family and friends
please be thankful today
Im still close beside you
In a new special way

I love you all dearly
now dont shed a tear
Cause im spending my christmas
with Jesus this year. Close

Mommy needs a favor!  / Mommy To Payton (Mommy)
Hey my sweet angel I am coming to you in hopes you will help. First I want to say please keep an eye on your brother Ely so far he is perfect as you were but keep him safe and healthy for us. Put a good word in to the big guy!
I need you to put a word in to the big Guy about Linda baby angel Ethans mommy. She is preganant again and had a test come back positive. Please tell the big guy to give her and her family strength faith and courage, but second to let her new little boy waiting to be born be a healthy strong boy who they get to keep here on earth. It may be a big favor but I would appreciate it son. 
As the holidays are here we feel there isnt much to celebrate without you here. Do you like the tree we put on your resting place? We miss you and need your presence with us this holiday season. We love you sweetheart, wish you were here.
Also will you help to ease your daddy as he is going thru a lot of stress right now. He goes in friday for his back surgery give him the relaxation the strength and the faith to go thru it just fine.  Missing you so much. We love you! Close

8 months old but only in heaven  / Mommy (mother)
I cant believe it has been 8 months since you were born. There are times I dream you are here with us only to wake up and find myself back to a realitly I have only learned to live but hate.  We talk about you everyday and we think of who you would be if you were only here with us. You were such a beautiful baby and I am sure you make a handsome angel. Watch over us and the new baby cause if there is one thing that I can say is good is that we have and knew our guardian angel. Missing you today but loving you always in our hearts. Give us each a kiss tonight in our dreams. Love you baby boy! Close

I know your pain...  / Journey's Mommy~~Kelly
I wanted to say that Im sorry and I do unfortunately know your pain.... Your children are very very beautiful!!  I also have a website for my daughter Journey..  Kisses to your angel in heaven with mine..

Kelly

 www.journey-marie-howell.memory-of.com Close

wow / Jamaca T. (none..)

i was looking threw nilmdts website that my friend had posted and i seen your web page, and i cant say anything that im sure you havent heard. but i want you to know that i was touched and ihavent commented on anyone else's story

im in awe at how beautiful your children are and how tragic your story is. its sad to think that can happen to anyone at any time . i know it doesnt help but i am truely sorry not just for you but for your children and your family as a whole and anyone else who ever has to go threw something like this.. there is no greater pain or sadness than that of losing your child. 

i hope you are doing well and you are in my prayers.. Close

Your 7 months  / Lyssa (Mommy)
On the 4th you would have been seven months and I try to stay busy on these day so I dont break down. Your big brother started preschool that day, we also had pictures done of your brother and sister also your bear they turned out good, but it should have been them holding you in those pictures NOT a bear. The bear represents you, you will always be a part of this family even though you reside in heaven. We had doctors appts for dad and bubba that day as well and I did okay, I really did. That is till I got home that night I bawled for hours. Thinking of you not seeing you grown and how you would change, not taking your baby pictures or anymore pictures of you at all. How my heart broke that night as I wanted you here with us so badly. Wanting to hear your cry to see you smile to know your brother and sister so they could love on you everyday. We are missing out on so much, I just wish you were here my heart just fills so empty and not complete. We love you and miss you so much angel we can only talk about the day we join you in the wonderful kingdom you will grow up in. Close

We miss you  / Lyssa (Mommy)
Oh my little man how we all miss you. Mommy and daddy are having a harder time with everything right now. I know you have sent this family a gift but I still cant help but want you here. We still fear that could this happen again? And at the same time we are wishing you were here with us in our arms. Daddy needs you to come down and comfort him. He is really missing you and struggling. You and your daddy truly had a special relationship even though it was only those 12 short days. I know you are safe in the hands of the Lord but I cant help but wish you were safe in our arms here on earth. Trystan and Nataley really miss you to. Tomarrow it will be 6 months since the last time I got to see you before we placed you in the ground and I just cant imagine how I am going to live this life without you. I await that day at those gates when I see you and can forever and eternity spend with you. You will ALWAYS be our baby boy. Missing you and loving you more and more each day.
Mommy Close

So Sorry  / Allyson Council (passerby)
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy.  He is so perfect, as well as your other kids. My prayers are with your family that you may find the strength and peace that you need to make it through the days ahead. Close

YOU ARE SAFE  / Alexa Hinkle
RIP! You are in heaven with my sister Haley who my mother lost at 3 months and my cousin Chloe who died of SID. You are safe now! Close

mariadentonharries@y-ahoo.co.uk / Maria Denton (babies in heaven )
sweet dreams angel. keep smiling down on mummy and daddy Close